. . . AND GARBAGE ON ENERGY

Kohoutek's comet is what really caused the energy crisis, we are assured by the various mystics and maharishis, but fortunately redemption is in the offing by a grand new discipline. "Bio Dynamics," writes an energy periodical of the counter culture, "is the study of the balances through which life energies gyrate... With the sun pushing and the moon pulling (magnetizing), a pulsation is created."

On a less mystic level, spark plugs doubling your gas mileage are now being offered for sale. Kecteational vehicles guzzle gas at 4 miles to the gallon, but their promoters have discovered a way to use them as energy savers (up to 80%!): Move out of your house into a Winnebago. The National Football Liague has found another way to abundant energy: more games in lighted stadiums. (Just think of those cars immobilized in the parking lot and all those dark TV sets at homed

And then there was the man who used two magnets and screen to make a piece of ferromagnetic metal move hither and thither. He overlooked that he was putting more energy into the gadget than he could get out of it, and he sent it to his congressman.

That is nothing unusual; in fact, perpetua mobilia are bring invented with such frequency that most countries now hare laws prohibiting their patent offices to be molested be them. The unusual part of the story is that the Hon. Joel T. Broyhill of Virginia proclaimed in the US House of Representatives "I believe [my constituent's] theory will be of interest to many who are now engaged in attempts to solve the problems of power shortages," and he inserted a description of this nonsensical contraption in the Congressional Record (Vol. 119, No. 132, Sept. 12, 1973), where it may be looked up by all who think we must be kidding.