GAS MILEAGE VIA POLITICS

More important, the EPA dynamometers do not simulate the weight of the car exactly, but are adjusted in steps of 250 lbs up to 3,000 lbs, and in steps of 500 lbs beyond that. By weighing in just under the 500 lb step of the next higher class, the model can gain up to 2 mpgs on its EPA certificate by the simple expedient of retuning the engine to comply with the easier pollution standards in the lower weight class. To improve the mileage of the model by a single mpg in real life on the road, it would have to reduce its weight by about 400 lbs. But if the model is just a little bit over one of EPA's 500 lb steps, it can squeeze in just under it by taking out a few coathangers and ashtrays. That way you don't have to engineer fuel economy; you lawyer it.

Which is not far from what Chrysler did with its Feather Duster, and Ford with its Pinto Pony; the former knocked off 153 lbs and squeezed into EPA's under-3,000 lb class with 23 lbs to spare.

But there are yet better methods. Anybody think the same model could increase its mileage by 40%? Of course not, not even with these tricks. But the figure put out by the PR-men is sales weighted, and so will evidently congressional edicts be. No need for the marvels of science when technology is legislated: You simply arrange for smaller sales of Cadillacs and Lincolns, and bigger sales of Pintos and Chevettes. How? By overpricing the heavier models, or if need be, by refusing to sell them altogether until the statistics work out to satisfy the law and EPA's tables.

Ironically, Congress's insistence on gasoline price controls has had the inevitable result: Consumers are no longer wary of high gasoline prices and are turning back to bigger cars. Two years ago, your friendly Ford dealer insisted that the Lincoln was really a tiny wee li'l minicar; today he is assuring everybody that the Pinto is much bigger than what people think they see.